Just a few thoughts

My disease is not a visible one. Only a select few people in my life actually know that I have it. It causes my moods to swing violently, keeps me from sleeping, makes me terrified of every little noise, and keeps me from enjoying things I've always loved. I'm exhausted from all of this. I guess that is why I tried to kill myself a while ago. I was too tired to keep going. But, I decided that I do need to keep going. These last few weeks have been hard and I ended up going back to the hospital, but something needs to change. I can't suffer in silence any more. I actually wrote a letter addressed to my friends and family talking about my illness. I don't know if I will give it to them, but perhaps I just needed to get things off of my chest. Maybe I will post the letter here. Maybe someone will relate.

I know that people are going to wonder why I need a service dog. I look fine (except for the occasions that my tics are very bad) and I sound fine when I talk. So why do I need a service dog? My depression and panic attacks are debilitating. Going to work and school has become incredibly difficult. Which right now is okay because after my last bout of depression I lost my job and was removed from my classes. But when I'm better I am going to worry when my next panic attack will be or when will I suddenly become overwhelmed and unable to cope with normal everyday issues.

Just some thoughts.

I will bid you adieu, peace, love and papaya,

thefleet